i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
