You smell like a Billy Joel song
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
