Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
