wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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