gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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