Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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