I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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