Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
