I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
