i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
