i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize