Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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