Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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