Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
