also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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