Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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