i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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