He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
