just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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