I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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