did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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