she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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