I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
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