I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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