Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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