I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
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