i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
