she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
