she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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