K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
