he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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