My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
