Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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