Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
they need to just BURY HIM!
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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