On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize