yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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