we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
