Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
