so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
