Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
