dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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