i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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