just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
