She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
