i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
