omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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