Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
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I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
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Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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