I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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