dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
