I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
