I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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