she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
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She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
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There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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