my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
