rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize
