Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Randomize
