wat bout pragnant strippers??
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
