so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
