So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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