apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
