I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
