Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
