I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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